Lost in the Hills of Santa Barbara

There is something to be said about getting lost in the hills of Santa Barbara with nothing but your brand new running shoes and an ipod spitting out your friends Brett Dennen, Jack Johnson, and some international music most would not recognize.
You start out thinking about the run and what you'd like to accomplish- how can I get a couple miles in without getting lost, it sure is hot out, good god these new shoes are amazing I could run for hours in them.

As you really get under way your thoughts change from the task at hand to your surroundings. First you notice the flowers in bloom, mostly blood orange colored hibiscus that could rival the ones you have admired in Hawaii and a few last minute roses hanging on for dear life. You consider picking a few to take back to your sisters house but you're not sure how long you'll be running and the heat would surely wilt away their beauty.

At this point you are about a mile in and you allow yourself to notice the houses. You've purposefully kept your thoughts from the houses because you know, as a teacher, house dreaming is futile to your well being. Their charm is the reason you could never live in Santa Barbara. The Spanish flair and stone laden courtyards would haunt your dreams while you were stuck in some 70's era apartment complex next to a 90 year old woman that hoarded cats. But you allow yourself the pleasure of day dreaming, just this once, as you know this will be one of your last visits to this picturesque town in a long while.

House upon house go by and their unique flair allow you to create a story behind every one. Then you see it. You stumble as your feet catch up with your eyes. The one with an oversized window that opens up to the entire house, where you gaze at a mom singing to her child as she dances from the living room to the kitchen and back to the living room again. You feel as if you are being visited from the Ghost of Christmas Future and allow yourself to slow to a snails pace so you don't miss a second of what that happy future holds. At this point your stumbling turns into a full fledged fall that knocks you out of your stupor and, as you regain your composure, you realize YOU ARE LOST. Here you have a choice, turn around and try to find your way back or continue forward to see what else is out there. You choose the latter.

The adventure is what you seek. To be lost takes you back to the recognizable feelings of your childhood where you created adventure upon adventure in the backyard of a small house on Blaney Avenue. Adventures filled with Indians and Cowboys (attributed to your never ending reading of Ingalls), time travel (A Wrinkle in Time, of course) and not to mention strange short men who always had answers to your questions (classic Dahl). You realize that although this feeling is familiar it has been way too long since you have felt it. The repetitious rut created by time and too many cement walls has been shielding you from any notion of adventure for quite some time. You want to stay lost and allow yourself a few more memories but the suns glow is about to give way to dark. You pocket the feelings and the memories for another day.

You follow the last glimmers of the suns rays back to your sisters home where she and your niece are waiting for you. As you bound up the stairs you see through the window an exhausted new mom taking in the rare moment of her baby sleeping and you realize it was not the Ghost of Christmas Future you saw earlier rather it was the Ghost of Christmas Present and you smile at the lesson you have just relearned- live in the present Nicole, live in the present. You smile once more knowing that the next year, possibly more, will be filled with days of being lost with nothing but your new shoes,your old friends crooning from your ipod, and a long awaited return to the familiar adventures of your childhood.

Making a list and checking it twice

If you spend more than five minutes with me you know that I am a list maker, there are even days when I make lists about the lists I need to make. It may seem obsessive to some but these lists free my brain from many mundane details allowing me to have clearer more creative thoughts and daydreams which are essential to my generally spirited nature. As such this blog will be in list form and include various thoughts about Ecuador that have been popping up between the mundane details the past week or so.
#1 What and how much do I need to pack? (which is highly contingent on #2)
#2 Exactly what city will I be placed in and when am I going to find this out?!
#3 Practice Spanish!!!
#4 Spend as much time with friends & family as possible, you are going to miss them.
#5 Practice Spanish!!! I mean it this time.
#6 Where will I live and work when I return?
#7 Don't worry about #6, that will work itself out. Practice your Spanish instead.
#8 Will my students get my humor? Will I fit in with my house family? I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb aren't I? Ahh, the potential for some new self-deprecating stories is invigorating.
#9 Seriously stop thinking about #6 and study your freakin' Spanish already.
#10 When do I leave again? Tomorrow would be ideal, then I could stop worrying about #6 and start focusing on the goals I have set for the next year of my life rather than playing the waiting/worrying game.
#11 Do I really know what I've gotten myself into? Do I care if I don't? Isn't that supposed to be one of the best parts of the experience?
#12 Stop making lists Nicole and STUDY YOUR SPANISH!

And with that I start the official countdown of t-minus 50 days.